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Ok, i have a tendency to be lengthy and redundant so i apologize for the editing that may need to take place. I am in need of advice, guidance, assie stance whatever name you want to put to it. I am eighteen, every time i remind myself of that i cannot believe i am so young and in such a bad place. Anyways i always thought i was pretty normal with a few exceptions: i tried to drink myself to death when i was twelve and just ended up with one hysterical mother and an irate father began cutting when i was thirteen after i was sexually attacked and my parents refused to act. after that i got heavy into drinking and drug but after the overdose of a close friend i quit drugs and developed a drinking habit. at sixteen i was raped at a party. after losing my virginity that way i became very permiscous. i prided myself on being able to outargue my teacher, manipulate people especially males and honestly not care. its exactly what my dad did to me all my life. my parents knew about my cutting and just got angry, my dad called me cold-hearted calloused ....i won't go on. quite honestly my life could have gone on without any problems, but... there is always a but. One of my one night stands would not leave me alone. he treated me like i was the only woman alive. my parents were kicking me out so i moved eight hours away and he came with me. he was a drug addict but living in the country in the middle of nowhere... he quit everything for me and proposed. i am not trusting of people but he has caused so many good things. i am not bragging but i am extremely intelligent. he convinced me to go to college and i am now a freshman at one of the big twelve. i want to marry this man but i there is something wrong with me what i don't know. he is worried about my drinking, as a reference for you i have gone through nine gallons of vodka in two months. i know this is not good but i still have 3.5 gpa. he thinks i need help and knows everything i have told you. i have no money and no parental support. please anything would be helpful.

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